This morning we all went to the malnutrition clinic with the rest of the group that had already been there for the last two days. After breakfast we loaded up in the vans and started off on the 1.5hr journey to the small village of San Juan. When we got to the clinic, it was an old rundown lions club building that had been donated for a clinic. When we got out of the vans there was an armed guard standing at the door, mainly to protect the children from people try to take them and sell them. When we walked in, it smelled like old poop and ammonia. The walls were yellow but you could tell the paint was old and all of the windows were locked up. Erika gave me a quick tour of the building and then we went into the canary room where they keep the babies. All of the girls were already in there holding their babies which they have previously chosen as the cutest, or chubbiest. We went to the crib of Oscar who was unfortunately not "picked" by one of the girls for who knows what reason. Erika picked him up and handed him to me, but he was very skeptical of me at first. There really arent that many people with beards there and when he touched mine he retracted quickly in disbelief that something could feel that way. Eventually he warmed up to me and had his hands in my beard as long as I had him in my arms. He found my Lens cap and since they do not have any teething rings, started chewing on it. At first I was kind of freaked out because I did not want him to get any disease or anything like that on it, but the face he made when I took it away made me give it right back. Meanwhile Erika went and got a girl named Ingrid, who no body would touch because she cried alot when we came in. So naturally Erika was drawn to her because she was rejected by the rest of the group. It took about 20min of her crying her head off before she stopped and started smiling. After I put Oscar down I went down the hall to where the older kids were playing. There was a young boy standing in the hall way with a cup in his hands but would not look at me, or even respond to my questions. I decided that I would just sit down next to him and just be with him. After a few minutes he let me play peakaboo with him and eventually grabbed my thumb with as much might as he could muster up, and tried to pull me to my feet. Once I got up he led me around the center for about 40min until I tried to pick him up. He would have none of that, he started crying and screaming so I quickly put him down in hopes that no one though I was hurting him. After another few minutes of peakaboo I tried to pick him up again and he still cried, but this time I just held him and hummed a little to him and he eventually stopped crying and when I tried to put him down he grabbed onto my neck and wouldnt let go. So being attached to this boy who's name was Minor, I walked until I was tired and then sat down on a bench. He eventually fell asleep on my chest and napped for about 30min. I would check on Erika periodically and she would be sitting and rocking, or feeding, or taking a nap, but always had little Ingrid in her arms. I went back into the canary room and someone handed off a girl named Mariela, she was actually 3 years old but only looked 12months. She had an underdeveloped skull and was pitiful and adorable all at the same time. I sat and fed her until her little belly was full and then put her down for a nap. After lunch I saw a girl named Ofelia, she had been standing in one of the doorways all morning and would not look or talk to anyone. I tried to talk to her, and nothing. I tried to touch her arm and she batted my hand away. So I just sat down with her and talked, even though she didnt know what I was saying. I started thinking about what kind of home life would make a 5yr old girl afraid to look someone in the eye. I started crying and just sat with her until she eventually was called into another room for snack time. The day was filled with smelly diapers and crying children but I know that God is working in that place and loves those dirty, smelly, diseased children just as much as He loves me. It is hard to believe that most of these kids wont make it to be adults but I do know that God has a special place in heaven for those who have endured what they have. We are now back in our warm hotel rooms getting ready for another warm dinner, it really seems unfair but I know that we are here for a reason and who am I to question God.